Solitary trees, if they grow, grow strong.

Even though I have lots of loving people around me, I tend to feel like I lead a solitary life. It seems that people love to talk to me, but I don't do much of the talking. Then when I do talk I find it hard to get out what I want to say, or get cut off or prefer to keep things to myself. I hate going through the day, by myself, talking to people but not talking about anything. Constant chatter around me. I'm so used to listening now. I listen all day long. And the worst part of it is that I wait to be asked things about my day, or what's going on in my life. I just wait. I'm sick of waiting, but I'm sick of trying to get things in when there is a second. So I just wait, hoping.
I just had a realization... I am constantly frustrated. Sometimes it's a little, sometimes it's constant and annoying. But I feel I am always, to a degree, frustrated. And the ironic thing about that?haha Is that that frustrates me!!hahaha I just can't win! Oh man, that makes me laugh. I'm frustrated about being frustrated. Lord help me. I am annoying.haha


I've been trying to work on Christmas gifts. My sister wants a bunch of different kinds of cowls. I have about.... 3 or 4 started but none finished. One just needs some fixings like a button or two. I'm making a blanket for Aaron which is coming along nicely. I like how it is looking so far. It's in blocks, so I'm nervous about sewing them all together. Last time I did a blanket like this it was very wonky on the bottom. But with this blanket I'll be able to add little blocks without it looking crazy, because it's all different shaped blocks. So yay. My sister said I should make some boxes and basket type things for my Mom. I want to make a beret for my Grandma. A hat for my cousin. A blanket for Ryan. I have no idea what to make for my Father. I'd love to make him something he can use... but I just have no idea! Any ideas, people? Please :( haha

Tomorrow kicks off Army/Navy weekend down in Philly! I've been looking forward to it since last years Army/Navy weekend.haha I was REALLY looking forward to it starting in September when Aaron said he would come. I'd been planning things for us to do out in the city, so that he wouldn't be bored or whatever since he wasn't going to the game. But unfortunately some issues came up and he wont be able to come. :( Work and all that kind of stuff, not relationship issues.haha So I'm extremely bummed. I was really, really looking forward to spending it with him. :( I don't want to talk about it anymore though... I'm sad and guess what! Frustrated. Ahhh I better end this before I get more sad. I have to go pack too. :(


Have a great weekend, my friends!