Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Ok now I feel better! Thank goodness for being able to write things down. Now if only I could write better...haha
Hope you all had a great and safe New Years celebration! Here's to Looking Fine in Oh Nine!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I just had a realization... I am constantly frustrated. Sometimes it's a little, sometimes it's constant and annoying. But I feel I am always, to a degree, frustrated. And the ironic thing about that?haha Is that that frustrates me!!hahaha I just can't win! Oh man, that makes me laugh. I'm frustrated about being frustrated. Lord help me. I am annoying.haha
I've been trying to work on Christmas gifts. My sister wants a bunch of different kinds of cowls. I have about.... 3 or 4 started but none finished. One just needs some fixings like a button or two. I'm making a blanket for Aaron which is coming along nicely. I like how it is looking so far. It's in blocks, so I'm nervous about sewing them all together. Last time I did a blanket like this it was very wonky on the bottom. But with this blanket I'll be able to add little blocks without it looking crazy, because it's all different shaped blocks. So yay. My sister said I should make some boxes and basket type things for my Mom. I want to make a beret for my Grandma. A hat for my cousin. A blanket for Ryan. I have no idea what to make for my Father. I'd love to make him something he can use... but I just have no idea! Any ideas, people? Please :( haha
Tomorrow kicks off Army/Navy weekend down in Philly! I've been looking forward to it since last years Army/Navy weekend.haha I was REALLY looking forward to it starting in September when Aaron said he would come. I'd been planning things for us to do out in the city, so that he wouldn't be bored or whatever since he wasn't going to the game. But unfortunately some issues came up and he wont be able to come. :( Work and all that kind of stuff, not relationship issues.haha So I'm extremely bummed. I was really, really looking forward to spending it with him. :( I don't want to talk about it anymore though... I'm sad and guess what! Frustrated. Ahhh I better end this before I get more sad. I have to go pack too. :(
Have a great weekend, my friends!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
In his workshop building the platform the projector was screwed to. Doesn't he look good? :)
Then here is after it was all set up and we were painting it. Look at how much of a difference in colors there is. The wall is originally light green(you saw pictures of it a few weeks ago) and then we painted the inside a light grey. Such a difference!
Here is Aaron in front of his handy work:
So saturday night we played Gears of War 2 for hours. It was my first time REALLY playing a game. Sure I've played a few games before, but not to finish it. He was waiting so long for this one, so we eventually beat it Sunday. But after that we had to get out and decided to take a walk in the woods near his house.
Here is us on a tree. Wish it wasn't so dark!
Can you see him? :)
Top Model face!haha
Great one of us!
He's hiding! It's hard to see on these pictures because they come out so small!
Climbing a tree like a pro:
Me? Not so pro:
But I can do this!
And build my own house and make fire:
But well, he can do this:
I'll end this one with some love:
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I am so in love with this boy. He doesn't even realize*. But I try my best to show him each and every day. I'm so thankful. So blessed.
*I am making him a blanket for Christmas though. He's GOT to realize that is love.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Too much blue. I don't like this!!
Today started off good. I got an 89 and a 95 on my html tests. THAT was a shocker!! After class things started to go down hill a twinge. I burnt my grilled cheese which was very upsetting. I voted, which was great, but I hate living in a blue state. I went to sit down and organize all my yarn(ugh so much) but kept getting interupted by calls and family. Then my Dad decided at that moment to check things out with the TV so I couldn't watch my movie that I was halfway through and I just took my stuff upstairs because I didn't want to deal. Wow, that was a bad sentence. And some of the calls weren't the most fun only in the fact that they kept bringing things up that I don't ever want to think about. Tell me again why people have to have pasts? Well no, have a past... just not one full of crap that I have to deal with in my head. :(
I was just getting frustrated and annoyed with everything around me. So I worked out for quite a while. At some points I think my bike went faster than it has before.haha WHICH is a good thing. I'm getting stronger!! My legs feel really strong compared to after or even before the knee surgeries. Yay for Bridget.
Now it's election time and Obama is winning. Good for him and all that, but he scares me! I will be SO happy to be proven wrong though. That's how much I love this country. :)
I'm also not feeling well. This morning it felt like a cold, then today I had terrible allergies, now I just feel like crap. Maybe it's a mixture? I feel really weird. I'm just sitting here but I feel like my head is kind of swaying back and forth.
And let it be known!!! I am going to lose some weight. Just a little, not a lot. But I've gained, and I'm sick of it. 5 or so pounds make a difference and they really make me sad.
Ok GREAT. OBAMA HAS WON. Uggggggggggggggh. Democrats are going to hold everything. What the flip! Now he's going to appoint Democrat judges and pretty soon there will be no checks and balances. Just pats on backs.
I'm sad now............................. I'll be ok in a few days! Congrats everyone!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I find myself saying "I'm fine" a lot even if I'm good or not so good.
And let me tel you this.... I can be a completely irrational person inside. Well on the outside too I guess, but on the inside for sure. I keep things to myself, then I get made when people don't ask? Or when people don't say enough if I by chance I do tell them something about how I'm feeling. I'm completely irrational in thinking that people will respond to things the way I would. I mean come on, people can't be that good. :P j/j Really though, I don't know how to stop putting expectations on people. Does that ever get better? Does it get worse? It's something I've always dealt with... hold on let me think.
Ok maybe I answered my own question. I think it has gotten better. I've been trying not to expect so much from others in the past years. Really, who gets hurt when YOU put expectations on OTHERS? Especially high ones. I have high expectations, people. I try to keep them in check, though. So that's good.
What was my point to this? Hmm... I lost it, but I just came up with another. Maybe I should have higher expectations for myself. I place them on others, why not more on me? I'm going to try. Maybe this week will be my week of try outs. It's also convenient that tomorrow is Hump Day and the week is coming to an end. :P
In other news:
-Had another wonderful weekend with Aaron. I've always saw his work ethic, but it's really becoming very evident as it now affects my life. And I have to say, I'm really proud of him. He works really hard to get ahead. It makes me feel guilty for a few reasons that I'm not going to get into right now. I really like being in his realm, I guess you could say. I feel like he's extended himself in many different directions and with different people, so to be inside it all is nice. It's hard to expand on that idea because I just came up with it. (Work it, Bridget!)
-My Mom made me her version of a yarn bell. Here are some pictures:
I'm using it tonight as I work on Aarons blanket. It's really nice!! I have to start winding my yarn, I think. For anyone who might read this, do you wind your yarn? If so, how or with what? I like the design she did.haha It's fun. A meadow sky scene on the top, and an underwater scene on the bottom. Very creative!
Other news.... other news... Oh, I got an 86 on my Psych of the Exceptional Learner midterm. I was nervous for it, but it turned out easier than I thought. So that's good! I think I got the same score on my Visual Basic midterm, too. It was right around 86.
Well I guess I should end this and go to sleep. I was so tired earlier today, but now thinking about going to sleep without Aaron next to me is kind of sad! I hope I'm not too into this man, but I do love him.haha So get off my back. :)
Have a great Wednesday!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
She had very good directions and I found out that the box glows!haha
It was all wrapped really tightly and I almost stabbed myself with scissors BUT! It was worth it, because look this is what I found:
My cat loved getting into the wrapping and admiring Edward:
And this is all that I got!!(Minus the two things she made)
Lip gloss, Dracula book, beautiful notebook, little note cards, eye mask for the sleep over.haha, nail kit, over the hill candle because Edward is older than Bella!haha, waste basket, a little picture frame with Edward in it that is shaped like a cat(aka the mountain lion!) a lot of really fun yarn, candy and a little bottle of my most favorite C.O. Bigelow lotion. I worked at Bath and Body works for a few years and this was one of my favorites there. And she didn't even know that! So that was fun. :)
Here are the handmade items she sent:
The fingerless gloves:
The headband that I have wanted to make but never did: (I love it, it fits so well and has really great buttons on it!)
She's making me up my game on my swap package, so my recipient should thank her!!haha A huge thank you to Mayleen for the beautiful work and the thought behind everything! She pretended to be Alice and I was Bella, and this was a housewarming gift for our new place. So cute. I can't wait to wear my headband tomorrow to class. :) Thank you!!!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
It was one of the worst trips of my life. I had THE WORST cramps I have ever experienced in my life. Ugh it was bad. It put me in such a bad mood, then on top of that for some reason I didn't pack anything to deal with cramps(if you catch my drift) so I had to go shopping. That was another debacle and I cried a little. It was just stressful and stupid. Ugh, awful. Then when I finally did get to Aarons I was miserable and he had his friend over, and they were doing an amazing job painting and I just couldn't muster up any enthusiasm except for the fact that I was seeing him. It was a bad day for Bridget! BUT! It did get better. Once I started feeling better, and was able to relax.
I have some pictures of his newly painted place. It looks fabulous.
The first time I went to his apartment I was taken aback because it did not reflect him at all. It was cold, empty, stark, unlivable(I mean it just seems like no one lived there) it just lacked life and love to be honest. This may sound harsh, or weird, but I don't know how anybody could have really felt at home with it like that. I know I couldn't have for an extended period of time. It was not very cozy or comfortable! And if you knew Aaron you'd realize that that is just not him. Or at least in my eyes. He's one of the most lovable people I know, so to see what I saw at first I was very surprised!!
But my oh my what a transformation. He did a great job picking out colors and making our ideas happen. He's a mastermind.
Here is the living room:
This is a picture of the bedroom. I picked out the color. He thought it was too dark at first, but I think he's really starting to love it. I LOVE it. I think it's fantastic. Warm, cozy, comfy, sexy, which are some words I'd use to describe my boy. :) He also was so nice to buy a new comforter for the bed. Oh man I did not want to get out of bed this morning! It was so comfy. I don't know, I really love that room now. Especially when we are in there together.
I love this boy.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday morning my Dad wakes up and the tv is acting really funny. The picture is kind of warped at the top of the screen. He fiddles with it most of the day but can't fix it. It's still watchable, it just looks like the top of the screen is in 3D.haha So Sunday morning he notices the tv. And we are now proud owners of a brand new flat screen HD huge tv; resting comfortably in our living room.
Done before Monday night football.
I just want to bake some muffins!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
That's my computer lawn chair. And it's broken. It has no back support. BUT! It's a hell of a lot better than my old computer chair:
Very uncomfortable. Every time I had to type something I had to climb back down.
Ok that's not really it, but my old computer chair was a regular nice desk chair. You know, it had the wheels, arm rests, it could be raised up or down, the only problem was that it was not attached to the base. So I couldn't raise it up or down, I couldn't wheel it any where, if I leaned back I would completely topple over. Which happened quite frequently. That was annoying!
But now... now! Now I can just lounge in bed and do everything I need to do.
My back thanks you, Aaron.
My neck thanks you, Aaron.
And I thank you. For letting me be lazy. :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I find myself already not digging around my shoe bin to find nice shoes for my outfit. I just throw on the same black Rocket Dog pair. It's because it's not warm enough to wear my sandals and not cold enough to wear some of my cute boots. I don't want things to feel so in-between. My weeks are the same all the time and I'm always looking forward to the weekend. Am I doing something wrong? Shouldn't my week be a little more... fulfilling? Or just pack that all into a weekend?haha
Things have been great with Aaron so far. Me gusta mucho. :) I love spending time with him on the weekends. I'd really like to extend the weekends into weeks, but it's way early for that. He definitely has my heart though; no one can compete with that now. In the beginning I was a bit iffy, but boy am I glad I tried a few more times. Things really do happen when you a) Least expect it b) Don't really want it or c) At the worst possible time. This situation is mostly a with a little b sprinkled in.
I think it's time to say goodbye to my summer and hello to my autumn.
This just reminded me of a Wallflowers song "How Good It Can Get"
"You wont believe just how good it can get, we'll make a lover out of you yet..."
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The point of this post is something he said to me while we were lying down the other night. We were joking around and I forget what I said but it was something about never having sex ever and he said loudly, "What?! This is an adult relationship, honey!"
It was so funny and so cute and it makes me laugh hearing his voice in my head say it. But he's totally right. This is, I think, my first adult relationship.
The last guy I was in a relationship with was Nic. It feels different from that and that relationship was a serious one. He wanted me to move to Germany with him. Sheesh can you imagine if that worked? I don't know if I ever could have really gone through with it. Freaking Germany! Way too far away from everything I love here. I'd love to visit, but not live. Also his family was nuts!haha
That was one of the worst weeks ever, in regards to happy things. I mean it's weird. The first time I met Nic, when I looked into his eyes the first thought I had in my mind was "I'm going to marry this guy." But thank goodness that never went any further. That was my first initial feeling, but it didn't exactly stay there. I thought I could when really I was just trying to believe it. I was just trying to prolong it, thinking this was the best I had in store for me. Thinking this was the greatest guy ever.
Little did I know almost two years later Aaron would come barreling into my life.
I'm afraid of things, naturally. I've never really been in this place before and I hope it doesn't go away as quickly as it showed up. That would be awful! I can't imagine things without him and you can't make me! :P Even though I have thought about it before.
I don't know why but I have this problem with people where if we get into a fight I think they are going to completely up and leave on me. So if I have a problem in my head and it's bothering me, I get scared to bring it up because I'm afraid they'll leave. I wonder what that means?
There are too many "I"s in this blog so far.
He is amazing. One of the funniest people I know. So kind and caring. I think he deserves the best.
It just so happens that I call myself "the best" on a regular basis. :)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I went to Illinois for the week of a lifetime. Oh it was great! I loved seeing my guys. Here is a picture of us:
Josh, Chris, Me, Steve, and Steve. Love those boys.
On the way home from Illinois, I had to go to Atlanta to go back up to NY. Unfortunately I missed my flight to NY and was stuck in Atlanta for 13 hours. Ugggh that was a mess. It was so cold! The woman next to me offered me a heavy curtain she was bringing up from Florida to keep warm.haha It was insane. I didn't sleep either.
This past weekend was the other wedding up in Saratoga. It was very nice! I don't have the pictures uploaded yet, so I don't have any to share. But it was fun.
Then I got sick.
And am still sick.
What the heck?
Now this Friday I'm leaving to go to Rhode Island to visit some friends. It'll be fun but my August is slipping away from me! Pretty soon I'll be in school again. Ugggh don't even remind me.haha
I also spent a full day reading Breaking Dawn. So worth it. I really loved it. I was able to check of my mental checklist for the series. WARNING! SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Bella becomes a vampire
-Bella and Edward are together for forever
-Jacob imprints and grows up
-Bella and Edward do it.hahaha
So there you go. Time for some dinner.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I can't find a job, I'm still in school(granted, I just started going back), I don't have a boyfriend or any kind of relationship, I still live at home. I just feel like I'm not up to speed, or where I should be. I just have to keep telling myself that I'm in school to be a teacher... I'll get my degree, get my masters and I'll find a real job and things will get better. But it's hard and I feel like I'm failing. :/
Tomorrow I'll talk about Rob the UPS man and how his girlfriend apparently cheated on him this past weekend while she was away and how this scares me!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
We were sitting by the pool on the bricks and I hear a noise behind me in the woods. I turn to look and nothing was there and as I was turning my head back to my work I noticed a commotion in the pool. A little dragon fly had landed in the water and it's wings were all wet. It couldn't get out. :(
I quickly put my blanket down and got the skimmer to get it out. I got it out very gently and set the whole thing in the grass. I watched it for a little bit and it finally moved and tried to flap it's wings. I noticed then that it had 4 wings instead of two but they were stuck together. It kept flapping it's wings trying to get them unstuck but they didn't move. I tried to help with my finger but thought that might be too much for it.
I tried to move it off of the net so I could get a better angle and it climbed up on my finger. I couldn't even feel it, except for it's legs. I could feel them gripping my finger. It had a long, long skinny tail that it could curl up. It curled it up and tried to rub the wings apart but it didn't work.
That's when I took a blade of grass and set out to do some dragonly surgery.
I took the blade of grass and ripped it so it came to a nice point then very carefully I put the blade inbetween the wings and so so so slowy ran it until the wings came apart. The dragonfly didn't try to get away or make it seem like I was hurting it plus it didn't try to hop off my finger or anything. So I gave him a minute to rest and he was cleaning his eyes and curling his tail trying to get his wings apart and trying to flap them. I repeated the same process on the other set of wings and he stood on my finger for another minute flapping his wings and cleaning his eyes.
Just as I was saying "If I put you down for a second promise not to fly away?" He flew away.haha I wanted to get my camera. :(
So I hope I did a good deed. He flew away with a lot of gusto, so hopefully he has a new lease on life and will protect me from mosquitos in the future. :)
This is what he looked like, just not black and yellow. He was more silvery:
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
-I haven't seen him since last July.
-He's in the Army.
-He's being deployed to Afghanistan mid-July.
-I have had a crush on him since I met him.(Which is not my motivation.)
-He might have a 4 day weekend if he gets clearance.
-Tickets from TN to NY are kinda expensive(but like I told him, he wont be spending much money for the next year.haha)
-I would just like to give him a hug!
It would just be really great to see him before he goes. Like I said I haven't seen him since last July. So it would be another year at least until I saw him again. :/ That makes me sad. At least we have been able to talk a lot.
Le sigh. It would certainly be the best birthday gift if I could pick him up from the airport this weekend. He reminds me of my dear Dylan and that scares me. But I'm not going into that, I don't feel like being sad tonight.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Don't keep honking at me.
It just so happens I'm a little Green Saturn that has no acceleration especially compared to your Silver Mercedes.
I see you back there! I'm trying to turn right but you see there is this pesky oncoming traffic that I can't cut off. Because if I shoot out in front of them they will hit me. Like I said Mr. Silver Mercedes, I'm a little Green Saturn and can't go from 0-219 in .3 seconds.
There! Are you happy now Mr. Silver Mercedes? I pulled out before the green light but without the risk of being creamed by those cars. I see you shoot out behind me without looking Mr. Silver Mercedes, what's your rush?
Wait, where did you go Mr. Silver Mercedes? You're not up my butt anymore?
OH THERE YOU ARE. You were in such a HURRY to get out from RIGHT behind me so you could take the next immediate right turn into the GAS STATION.
I see you're a masochist and like to hurry to get killed at the pumps.
Thanks SO much Mr. Silver Mercedes for annoying me and making me think I'm doing something wrong when you're just a giant pain in the bumper.
I hope you accidentally hit the Regular button instead of your Precious Premium.
Friday, June 6, 2008
I am constantly dipping stuff. I just love dip. Chips and dip, steak sauce, soy sauce, ranch, blue cheese. Everything is a dip for anything. I usually plan a meal around what is dipable and what I want to dip in. It's rediculous. A friend opened my fridge one day and said "Wow, you have a lot of condiments."
Yes I do, friend, and I use them all.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
2008 so far:
3-A Great and Terrible Beauty ***
4-Rebel Angels ***
5-The Sweet Far Thing ***
6-The Penalty Box
7-Jane Austen Book Club
8-The Boleyn Inheritance
10-The Constant Princess
At this rate I might need to make it 30!
(*** = Amazing. Read Them!)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
It's my fault.
You see last Tuesday I bought a new watering can.
And every day since I bought that watering can, it's rained. Every single day.
I don't know how long it will go for. Maybe I'll break the watering can. Or send it to places that need rain.
Or send it to Milli Vanilli.
It's just SO bad!
Monday, May 19, 2008
The above picture is with the flash, it's more color correct than the bottom pictures. But you can see the detail better in the bottom. I really love how it's turning out. My hands, however, are not. They are killing me today. Got the brace on though. Hi, I just turned 80. I have bad hands and arthritis.haha
What do you think? I'm making another one simliar to this but with a different pattern. It's more modern than flowers. It's for my great friend Chris and his soon to be wife. He just got back from Iraq and while he was over there I told him I'd make them a blanket! Except I told him it would be pink. If these didn't take so long I'd make him a gag blanket in hot pink and hearts.haha
Saturday, May 17, 2008
As many of you probably know, Wal Mart is the best store in my life। The only draw back of the Wal Mart closest to me are the always long and far too few lines। The few that are open are backed up into the ladies department and everyone is reading a magazine or on their phone.
Today I would have gone to the self check-out line but I had a lot of heavy items I had no desire to pick up. Plus, the last time I brought cat/dog food to a self check-out line it got caught on a corner and all 50 pounds scattered across the floor. It was the last bag of this particular food, too. Weber was NOT happy when I got home.
So today. I get into line and there is only ONE lady in front of me. Only ONE! It was a dream come true because other lines were becoming backed up. I soon realize that my good fortune is actually nothing of the sort. This one woman had three carts FULL of stuff. I didn't see the ones in front of her. For every item in her cartS she had COUPONS.
She couldn't just put everything on the belt and then hand in the coupons... no she had to select a coupon and search in all three carts for the item she wants discounted. She searched two carts and her young son(maybe about 6 or 7) searched another one. She had coupons for everything. I couldn't believe it.
The cashier went to total it all up but then there was a problem. The lady had too many coupons. So of course she's throwing up a stink, she was actually pretty rude to the cashier. The manager or whomever came over and went through this whole long process so this lady could get her discounts. He goes through it all and when he's done she doesn't even say thank you when he says "OK, there you go." Not a word. She just stood there.
THEN she has 6 Resolve carpet cleaner bottles in her last cart. She tells the cashier that she wants to ring each Resolve bottle seperately so she can get the rebates for them. Guess what... she was buying them each by credit card. Just as she was done telling the cashier this another cashier comes up and says she's here to take over. The other cashier gets her stuff and says "Take care" and smiles to the lady in front of me and the lady stands there with her coupons fisted in her hand which is on her him and says "MM hmmm" like she couldn't be bothered. She was really rude.
The next cashier comes up and the lady is all talkative and smiles. I have my own theories about that, but I'm not blogging them.She gets all of her Resolves rung up and all 6 of her receipts for her rebates and was like "HAVE A GREAT DAY!" to the new cashier.
I was annoyed.
Did I mention the lady behind me was on her phone trying to get her significant other to talk dirty to her?
Words for the wise: Even though you are whispering, I can still hear you because you are RIGHT behind me.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Granted, I haven't had 'relations' since last May.
But I'll be damned if I let someone offer to fly me to where they are so that we can have sex.
Three guys in the past 4 months have offered to fly me to where they are under no pretenses. They want to have sex. Trust me, I've gotten the explicit text messages and IMs.
Do I really seem like that kind of girl? Even with the Granted items above, I like to think I'm better than that. Did I mention these three guys are very good friends of mine? They are spread out across the country in various stages of deployment.... but I can't do that.
This last one has me more upset. I have had a big crush on this guy for over a year. It started at the end of my last relationship. His home is about 2 hours from mine but he doesn't live 'home'. He's stationed in Tennessee. He was home, however, a few weeks ago. Did he call or want to hang out? Negatory. What about when we were both in the same city for a big event. His text messages were working but not his phone? How does that work? We had made plans to find time to meet up. I hadn't seen him since July. Buuut when the time came he was in a very loud bar and couldn't come out to find me? I was actually in front of that very loud bar waiting for him to tell me where he was. But he didn't. So what am I to think really? After those instances and more smaller instances, what am I to think other than I am a friend of convenience. I am a friend when he needs one. I am a friend to send him letters in Ranger school. He even said besides his parents I was the only one to send him anything. Because I was the only one to ask him what his address is down there? Probably.
I will not be some ones friend of convenience. Which also means I will not be someones personal rag doll because that some one is horny.
I'd really like to think I am better than that.
And guess what.
You just have no idea how hard it is to be "better than that". Especially when for over a year you've thought about the very thing you are saying no to.
It's not easy being a girl with morals.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I was on my way home from school today waiting at the light to turn onto 84. The light JUST turned green and someone honked next to me. My first thought was to the car in front of the obnoxious honker, that poor guy didn't even have time to press on the gas. So I look over to the car that honked to give my mean glare when I see 4 men in Army uniforms. They were not looking mean and in a hurry, in fact two (closest to the windows) were looking at me smiling. When I wiped the dirty look off my face and saw the one in the passenger seat wave I smiled and drove on my merry way.
This was a nice pick me up for the day, even though nothing would come of a random honker. It was great all the same because they saw me from my bad side. The one with the wrinkle.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I was outside this afternoon reading but I had my notebook with me just in case something struck me and boy was I struck. Here is what I was thinking:
I can't say for certain what's out there and what started us(but I'll have a better idea as I explore my thoughts.)
Creation? Evolution? Creatolution?
I believe in something larger than us. A higher power. God.
That belief alone has helped me more than any science book has.
Some, or many, would call me stupid for even questioning science. But what the hell do they know? What the hell do I know?
They call them "theories" for a reason, right?
How can we ever prove such a thing like where LIFE started?
I look back at my limited knowledge of history and the world and see less evolution but more progression.
We have progressed an incredible amount in science and technology.
We have progressed an incredible amount in human rights.
But has a telephone ever evolved into a car?
Or has a monkey ever evolved into anything that's not monkey like?
*Although my nice sweet baby kitten who fell asleep in the palm of my hand has evolved into a ferocious beast.*
Main Entry: evo·lu·tion Listen to the pronunciation of evolution
Latin evolution-, evolutio unrolling, from evolvere
1: one of a set of prescribed movements2 a: a process of change in a certain direction : unfolding b: the action or an instance of forming and giving something off : emission c (1): a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state : growth (2): a process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance d: something evolved3: the process of working out or developing4 a: the historical development of a biological group (as a race or species) : phylogeny b: a theory that the various types of animals and plants have their origin in other preexisting types and that the distinguishable differences are due to modifications in successive generations; also : the process described by this theory5: the extraction of a mathematical root6: a process in which the whole universe is a progression of interrelated phenomena
Main Entry: 2pro·gress Listen to the pronunciation of 2progress
1 : to move forward : proceed 2 : to develop to a higher, better, or more advanced stage
The odds of a baby fully developing from fertilization to embryo to brand new baby are very small. There is so much that can go wrong in such a complex process. If an embryo(designed to grow into a person), in a safe womb(designed to hold this embryo and nurture it and provide it with what it needs to become a baby) has a small chance of surviving how on "earth" did we evolve from a little squiggle in some body of water in a continually volatile environment? Was each moment in time, each temperature change, each storm, each ANYTHING, exactly what that little squiggle needed to evolve into what made me today?
Was life a little zygote all those "millions of years ago" that was in the perfect environment for each stage to develop into what life is today?
Is Earth our womb?
Where we each have a certain percentage of making it out? Being born after we die? Are we all little zygotes fighting that percentage of "life miscariages" to hopefully be born into whatever comes after death?
Will what we believe in REALLY make a difference in the after instead of the now?
Friday, March 14, 2008
It started off with traveling to Germany with my sister. First week took a plane, then the train, then the bus and finally had to walk to get to Germany. I'm not exactly sure where we went, but it was a castle type of place. The rooms were a light golden-y yellow. The doors were as high as the ceilings and white. When you walked into certain rooms there were 4 or 5 steep stairs leading down to an open room. In front of the open room were huge windows, 15 feet high at least. Then on the other side of the windows a stage was set up with performers singing opera. They couldn't see in, but you could see them and dance around the room or throw things at each other. Which everyone was doing when I walked in.
Then all of a sudden I was in the mall. In America. I was shopping around and I saw Daniel Craig looking like he did in Munich. (70's clothes and hair.)
He was standing there, with a basket full of pretzel bites wondering if anyone would like to try one. Get this. He worked at the pretzel place! We walked by, I can't remember who I was with, and after we turned the corner I told them I was very thirsty and had to get something to drink and that I'd meet up with them in a few minutes. They said ok and I turned around. When I got to the corner and started to turn it Daniel Craig came around with a rope and was roping off that section of the mall.
"Oh no, are you closing?" I asked.
"Not for you, come on in." He smiled and I walked in with him. Then we walked to the pretzel place.
"I like your hair, is it for a role?" He looked at me a little bemused. A smile tickling his lips.
"Yes it's for a movie called ------." (I can't for the life of me remember the name he said.)
Then we reached the counter and he stood to the right of me leaning on the counter with his hip, his arms crossed over his chest. That delightful light blue polo shirt stretched out trying to hold in his muscles. :P
"What can I get you?" The boy behind the counter said.
"I'll have a Dr. Pepper, please." I said to him. Then from directly behind me Daniel whispered into my right ear, "Ohh spicy."
(God Bless the British accent.)
Then I was back in Germany, still thirsty, and had no idea where I was going. After walking for quite some time I found my sister at the bus stop waiting with some friends to go some where. I asked her where I should go and she told me to get a cab and he'll know. Then I asked her if I had enough money and she said all I had was the slips of paper that tell you how much money you got, not the actual money. But they all looked the same! Obviously this was before the euro. She gave me some money and I went back to the castle, without Daniel Craig, and watched an opera.